ASAMA: The Problems of Motherhood In Boki

By Modlin Odu 

Asama had never been to Irruan before. Infact, she is overwhelmed by the excitement of getting to see the places often talked about in  Gyamgbo's many exciting stories in class especially the Alobe festival which was a few days away. The farthest she has gone away from her Kakwagom-Osokom village is the popular Okundi market which she visits annually particularly, in December with her mother, the famous village "kenpuo"(bean pudding) seller, to buy about two-to-three third grade category of used, menacingly long and oversized clothes as Asama's Christmas wares to later become Church outfits for the rest of the coming year, making it impossible even for Her rapid growth  to humble these clothes into fitting sizes until they eventually become farm clothes but as a naive teenager, she's indifferent and thankful to be among the few who have something "new" in the wardrobe to wear on Christmas day.

Ama-mu Asama (Mother of Asama) is the typical hard-working average Boki woman whose wisdom and intelligence was purely native, she left an abusive marriage with a drunk who later died of liver disease. Since then, she refused to remarry and rather concentrated her energy to bring up her lone child that she loves so dearly away from the moral decadence that was gradually becoming a norm in the society, she became very disciplined and over protective of Asama as her first sign of Puberty came. Friends don't visit her neither does she visit them. If Asama is not home, she's at the church with her mother or farm or market with her. She finishes her sales of kenpuo an hour before the close of school everyday and will always branch into the school to wait for Asama so that they can both go home together, even as a girl of 15 years. This has been going on for so long and the whole village including Ama-mu Barong, the locust beans seller and Ama-mu Eliza, the renowned village gossip are tired of laughing at them, they've learnt to live with it. Asama is her daughter after all.

Gyamgbo is Asama's classmate, a great story teller, a boarder in their school as Asama is a Day- Student. She's from Esekwe in Irruan-A place where the people pride themselves as having the seat of modern civilization. Ama-mu Asama had recently assented to her Friendship with Asama because she makes good grades in school as well and behaves responsibly. Lizzy and Barong are specialists in throwing tantrums at Asama because of her dress sense and strict .They are the wayward, empty skulls "happening Girls" as they often praised themselves since young teachers and the grown-up boys in school constantly make sexual advances at them which they never declined. Before the end of the session as SS2 students, they both got pregnant and in an attempt to abort the pregnancy as Barong boasts of being as expert in, she suffered complications and died. Lizzy whose mother prefers to accompany people to the farm to gossip others while they worked have nothing to assist her with and out of fear, she is keeping the pregnancy which has been denied by the cultist who impregnated her. As a school dropout, she now survives on charity 

This morning, Asama is up with a slight headache, largely because she slept just a little and started with her routine chores but soon, the headache vanished and got replaced by excitement. She is going to Irruan to spend two weeks of the three weeks holiday with the Erriom's, Gyamgbo's family. Still astonished that her over protective mother could agree to allow her out of her sight for not just a minute, but two whole weeks in a strange place...she couldn't be more thankful, that her Mother can now trust her ability to independently decipher good from evil but this freedom didn't come without days of eardrawn re-enactment of all that has been taught. 10am, the Erriom's arrived with a 504 volvo to pick their daughter and Asama and in an 1hour and half with incessant stoppings to salute friends in Oku, Katchuan, Bankpor and Bunyia, they were in Esekwe. Indeed, a different world for Asama but not as magnificent as Gyamgbo's stories would always have it. 

In the Erriom's averagely wealthy home, there was freedom of association even with the opposite sex. Asama wondered why Gyamgbo never mentioned that she has male friends or maybe because she (Asama) was not disposed to such a conversation. It's not a problem anyway. After two days of settling in to the Erriom's home, she started to be noticed by the young boys coming around Gyamgbo who by this time, had given her some of her Ogoja boutique standard clothes which she has outgrown and since she is fatter and a year older than Asama, they were just perfect on her.

It was the eve of the Alobe festival, preparations was in top speed, the roads, markets, beer joints were all litered with people; visitors and city returnees alike. Asama sees such crowd in her village only during Christmas and maybe New Yam festival. At sunset, they'd be in Bunyia, someone had invited them for an age grade dance performance and Mrs. Erriom didn't object to their going. Everything was happening too fast...she is now conscious of her sexuality, her appearance and can now talk to boys although shyly. She's both glad and sad. Confused.

Ewah Ndom has been nice to her. The other day, he took her to see the famous Dam and has brought her two gigantic fish in two days simouteneously. But while Gyamgbo was busy having a nice time with the other boys and girls at the spot they preferred to sit while watching the dance performance already taking too long to commence, she was being harassed by Ewah who is beginning to touch her in an offensive manner and she shook uncontrollably, not knowing what to do. The crowd has grown thicker, darkness has covered the earth giving way for the moonlight to radiate in it's beauty and Gyamgbo is already carried away in the conversations around. Ewah had lured Asama to a secluded area insisting that they both go somewhere private and passersby just felt it was the usual lovers' theatricals associated with the festival over the years so instead of rescuing Asama, they made satirical comments like "Otiah-neh-Onyi, agafuo" (husband and wife, Weldon) and went their way so, she started to feel helpless.

Meanwhile, Gyamgbo at the dance arena could not find Asama whom she thought was sitting at the other end of the 10 sitter bench with her cousin, Ewah, equally nowhere to be found.  Asama has never been alone with a boy before and earlier, Ewah made a statement which she took for granted until now, in his usual bragging to his friends he had said that he would "tidy that Oshukwo girl". She got alarmed and looked round the arena. Then asked a few persons if they'd seen Ewah and luckily, one of the passersby who had misinterpreted his position with Asama threw the answer in disgust pointing towards the direction he was coming from,  "owo? Muo anyi muo ree nyion neh onyi meh"(what?! He's there enjoying with his woman) and Gyamgbo took to her heels nearly touching her head to rescue Asama.

The next day being Alobe, the Erriom's ensured that Ewah was punished severely before the entire Community, guilty of attempted rape. His age grade mid wived the process of flogging him 50 strokes and fined him 10,000 for bringing shame on them. This event made Mrs. Erriom to realize that Asama's mother instilled fear as against teaching her the right sex education whereas Gyamgbo relates comfortably with both the male and female gender with an understanding of the dos and the don'ts, this actually built her confidence and for the remaining days of Asama's holiday, Mrs. Erriom resolved to help her overcome fear of boys but rather stand up to the challenge. 

Author's Note: Although this is a fictiteous story, our Boki parents have a role to play in every child's life. Your child can never be bigger than you. God has made you parents and you shall account for every child you come across but failed to impact positively to their growth. 

Story by Modlin Odu